Writings
Trust Yourself
It was the third day of studying with my late teacher, Michael, and before I asked him to officially be my teacher. At the end of practice, he guided us into savasana, and, to let go of control of our breath. After a few moments, in which I thought I had set aside any shaping of my breath, Michael quietly walked over, sat down next to me, and placed his hand on my abdomen. He asked me if I could let go of my breath. My belly began to shake and warm tears streamed down my cheeks and flowed over my ear lobes. I didn’t know why I was crying. But, I did know that this was an important teaching. I asked him to be my teacher later that afternoon. An ask that had only happened once before in my life, and one that hasn’t happened since.
Look Within to See Beyond
When I first came to yoga, I’d already spent well over a decade practicing self-criticism. I remember feeling ashamed of who I was as early as age five. These thoughts flooded my mind and controlled my actions. It felt like this inner critic was as much a part of me as my beating heart. I didn’t ever consider that I might learn to see and feel beyond that monster in my mind… until yoga entered my life.
Svadhyaya (the Sanskrit word for self-study) is the practice of looking within ourselves to observe our habits and patterns. It can help us learn the ways in which our mind colors our perception of life. Additionally, it can help us recognize that our true Self (atman) is different than how we think of ourselves… atman is so much more.