Writings
Trust Yourself
It was the third day of studying with my late teacher, Michael, and before I asked him to officially be my teacher. At the end of practice, he guided us into savasana, and, to let go of control of our breath. After a few moments, in which I thought I had set aside any shaping of my breath, Michael quietly walked over, sat down next to me, and placed his hand on my abdomen. He asked me if I could let go of my breath. My belly began to shake and warm tears streamed down my cheeks and flowed over my ear lobes. I didn’t know why I was crying. But, I did know that this was an important teaching. I asked him to be my teacher later that afternoon. An ask that had only happened once before in my life, and one that hasn’t happened since.
Range of Tolerance - Nervous System Resiliency
Nervous System Resiliency for the Holidays
The holiday season is fast approaching, and during this time of year, I like to offer you some ideas and tools to help you support your nervous system. Whether you love celebrating the winter holidays, you dread them, or it’s a mix, we can all benefit from the practices I’ll be speaking about in this article.
Community and Connection
When was the last time that you felt really connected to a present moment experience? Perhaps it was when you were in the woods, enveloped by the trees, with the scent of dirt and green. Or in a moment of deep stillness on your cushion... in the midst of an embrace, wrapped up in the arms of a loved one... or as you were snuggling with your furry companion.
Connection is the heart of yoga. This practice is about connecting to ourselves… our bodies, minds and hearts, and to the essence of our being... underneath pain, suffering, craving and illusion. And it’s also about connecting with our communities. One of the joys of coming together to practice in the same space, is the love and support we can offer and receive from each other.
Trapped Speed and How to Slow Down
I returned home Sunday evening from a glorious few days of resting and recharging in the Tillamook Forest. Mike, Luna and I luxuriated in a life without clocks, texts, or emails (a regular occurrence for Luna ;). We woke up with the sun and brewed tea. Warm tea always tastes better while sitting outside on a cool morning. We hiked mystery trails not knowing where they went, and sometimes where we were. We ate our first meal when the sun was nearing its high point, and then made our way to a swimming hole in the Wilson River. There we swam in the crisp and clear, gently flowing water, and when sufficiently cooled, we warmed ourselves on the perfectly sculpted, smooth rocks. When the sun began its descent below the canopy of the trees, we found a comfy spot to read (non-yoga!) books, and napped. After about 24 hours of this rhythm, my internal pace began to shift gears.
Transforming Anxiety
I just finished leading the Nourishing Relationships Yoga Retreat at Breitenbush Hot Springs. I had the pleasure of hosting 17 delightful humans, for two days, exploring the Buddhist and Yogic teachings of loving-kindness, compassion, appreciative joy and equanimity (the Brahma Viharas). It was magical. Also, it was challenging. And, at times, I found myself overwhelmed by my inner critic.
Breathe Your Way Through the Holidays
Twinkling lights, pumpkin spice, and festive parties, oh my! Even if you delight in this time of year, it can still be stressful. Yoga is here to help. Did you know that the most efficient way to affect change in your nervous system is through breathing? Simple, right? Well…. Not exactly.
Look Within to See Beyond
When I first came to yoga, I’d already spent well over a decade practicing self-criticism. I remember feeling ashamed of who I was as early as age five. These thoughts flooded my mind and controlled my actions. It felt like this inner critic was as much a part of me as my beating heart. I didn’t ever consider that I might learn to see and feel beyond that monster in my mind… until yoga entered my life.
Svadhyaya (the Sanskrit word for self-study) is the practice of looking within ourselves to observe our habits and patterns. It can help us learn the ways in which our mind colors our perception of life. Additionally, it can help us recognize that our true Self (atman) is different than how we think of ourselves… atman is so much more.
Pure Awareness
Listening to the Whole
While I was living in an ashram in Southern India, I spent much of my time sitting cross-legged: practicing pranayama, inmeditation, listening to lectures on Indian Philosophy and to Swamiji’s talks, and eating meals.When I wasn’t sitting I was practicing asana, hiking the mountains of upper Kodaikanal, or foraging for fruit, though the monkeys always seemed to get there before I did.One day while coming down the mountain, I lowered my left foot to meet the earth and with no apparent misstep, twist, or torque, I felt an excruciating pain in my left knee.I couldn’t bend it and was forced to hobble down the rest of the way with what felt like a pegleg. I had to walk like that for days afterward. Eventually the severity of the pain began to dissolve, but it never completely went away.
You Are Enough
Each year, it’s not uncommon for me to write about my challenges with New Year’s resolutions. I used to make resolutions every morning, week, and month, and certainly every New Year. This was when I was in the throws of disordered eating, in my pre-teen and teen years. It was a painful cycle of feeling awful in my own skin… I didn’t like myself. I didn’t like what I saw in the mirror or how I felt, and I was years away from loving myself. Now, decades after those painful experiences, I still cringe at our cultural obsession with resolving to be a “new you”. Yoga teaches us that, at our core, we are perfectly imperfect. We are born into this world with an innate understanding of love, compassion, and equanimity.